UKIP Ahead of Their Time

Spare a thought for UKIP leader Nigel Farage after he arrived at 18 Doughty Street for his big interview with Iain Dale, only to be turned away because he was 12 hours too early. The 'Save the Pound' campaigner should have arrived at Doughty Street's internet TV studios at 8.30pm. However, following a mix-up by his assistant he actually turned up at 8.30am. Farage, still dressed in his pyjamas, laughed the incident off and agreed to rearrange the interview for a later date.

Tories Go AWOL

The Tory pacifist non-conformists led by William Hague are up for giving the government a bloody nose this evening in an unholy alliance of opportunists, yellow-bellies and conscientious objectors. Backed up by a plethora of Cameron's Old Etonians - most of who refused to soldier in the Combined Cadet Force at Eton - Hague has been telling anyone who will listen that an inquiry into the Iraq war " shows that we are a society that is able to learn and that's the great strength of our democracy. "

Wrong. Should the government lose this vote, as the Prime Minister's official spokesman has pointed out, the enemy would see it as a sign of weakness and any hint of a loss of determination to see the job through would be seen as such. Tomorrow’s headlines? "Government forced to concede. "

The Tories are playing a dangerous game. Security issues used to be their thing. Not anymore. And at a time when security is a major issue with the voters, todays decision could well come back to haunt them.

Opposition Day: Conduct of Gov't policy in relation to war in Iraq - Watch the debate here ». skip forward 90 minutes to 01:30:00 (archived for 30 days)

Lying, Cheating, Thieving Spivs

As a result of serial abuse of the 'postage allowance' by Labour MPs in marginal seats, a secretive committee of parliamentarians led by Lib Dem, Nick Harvey, is to award MPs a 'communications allowance' of up to £10,000.

Daily Mail:- 'Blair Gibbs, spokesman for the TaxPayers' Alliance said: " The only time the politicians ever agree is when they're getting together to vote themselves bigger perks. This new allowance is effectively a propaganda budget which taxpayers shouldn't have to fund. It is the start of State-funding of our political parties by another name - giving MPs the right to pump out party propaganda, all paid for by the taxpayer, just to help them keep their seats".'


And they wonder why we despise them so much. Incidentally, Nick Harvey has a past. The truth will out. It could be today, could be tomorrow, could be next week or even next year. But the man most definitely has a past. Mind you, the sleazy bastards even make money out of that. Look at Mark Oaten after his fall from grace, he's raking it in.

Vote DUP

If the DUP has a candidate in Oswaldtwistle at the next election, they can count on my vote. Sammy Wilson spoke for the majority yesterday during Minister Miliband's enviromental tosh.

Sammy Wilson (East Antrim) (DUP): " Even before the report was published, spokesmen were claiming that it would require more green taxes. Will the Secretary of State comment on the claim that the report will be used as an excuse for increasing the tax burden on an already over-taxed public? Will he comment on claims that that will result in more expensive consumer goods, less access to foreign travel and a greater imposition for people living in rural areas? "

It's just a shame the Tories didn't have the balls to stand up and say something similar.

Animal Rights Fanatic is Labour PPC

I wish Mike Hobday well as Labour's parliamentary candidate for Welwyn Hatfield. Mike uses his blog to describe himself as 'a professional campaigner working for the League Against Cruel Sports where he helped make fox hunting illegal'. Conservative, Grant Shapps, holds the seat at present with a majority of just under 6000. I hope the Countryside Alliance are able to assist Greg to increase his majority at the next election.

It's a Jungle Out There

Talking about animals, Conservative Welsh Assembly Member, Glyn Davies, has made a frank confession on his blog:- " I make mistakes on my blog and sometimes post things I wouldn't post if I left it for a few hours - but then no-one would be interested. It has to be what I thought at the time - not what I thought, doctored for public consumption after careful consideration. I have only had to apologise to one AM so far - for an over graphic comparison with a wild animal. "

Answers on the hide of a White Rhino to .......

MEP Accused of Being Too Pushy

Hardly a household name but Labour MEP, Arlene McCarthy, caught my eye in more ways than one this week. On her website she says: " As a Member of the European Parliament for the North West, keeping in touch with and giving information to the millions of people I represent is not easy. "

We're all ears Arlene!

Lions Led By Donkeys

Tom O'Donnell, Director of Finance and Resources for the North Wales Police force, 25th Oct:

" My job as Director of Finance and Resources is to make North Wales Police function as a business. "

BBC, 30th Oct:- 'North Wales Police force has announced that it will cut 120 jobs by March.'

Tom O'Donnell:- " North Wales Police is an exciting and rewarding place in which to work. "

Chattering Classes Hijacking Democracy

The chattering classes may be talking about climate change - the rest of the country isn't.

1: More than 5000 patients die each year after contracting the superbug MRSA while in hospital.

2: Half a million pupils are leaving school unable to read and write properly. One third of all children at the age of 14 have failed to reach level 5 in reading.

3: Gun crime has doubled with children as young as 12 carrying firearms.

4: Our jails are overflowing resulting in less time for education and skills training for prisoners and rehabilitation for those with drug problems is virtually non-existent.

5: 11,000 prisoners released early have been returned to prison after breaching their license.

6: More than 1000 prisoners released on a tag went on to commit further violent offences including murder.

7: In 2004 the government estimated that just 13,000 migrant workers from the new EU countries would come to Britain. The actual number exceeded 600,000.

8: Personal insolvencies have hit a new peak and Britain is now responsible for a third of all unsecured debt in Western Europe.

9: We are governed by the most corrupt and incompetent bunch of no-hopers in political history.

Bush Remembers Happier Times

Harriet Harman Isn't Afraid of Spiders

I have enormous respect for Labour MP Ian McCartney. Despite considerable learning difficulties and a speech impediment that makes him virtually incomprehensible, he has achieved great things. However, by agreeing to act as campaign manager for Hilary Benn in his bid to be deputy leader of the Labour Party, I feel Ian has taken on his biggest challenge yet. A source at Westminster has told our reporter that Benn suffers from a number of phobias which threaten to derail his leadership ambitions. A fear of the dark is believed to have plagued him for years. A fear of spiders has led his parliamentary colleagues to label him a 'big girls blouse'. And his fear of older lads who shove your head down the bog for a laugh has him running for cover every time he sees John Hutton.

My thoughts and prayers are with Ian McCartney at this difficult time.

Jack McConnell In Council Tax Row

Scottish First Minister, Jack 'wee-shite' McConnell, is refusing to pay up to £12,000 in council tax for his official residence in Edinburgh. According to reports the wee shite hasn'ae paid a penny on the Georgian property since he took office in 2001. McConnell is refusing to comment on the row, however his spokesman told our reporter: "get tae f*** yer blethering eejit!"

Mr McConnell is married to Bridget and has one daughter and a son. He enjoys listening to music, playing golf and watching football.

Ice Age, Tropical Age? Make Your Mind Up

Peter C Glover:- " ...in the 1970s, the world was heading for a new ice age. Now its heading for a new tropical age. And, just to hedge the expert speculative bets, they invented climate change (hard to argue with this as global warming 'causes' both hot and cold variations). Of course, climate does change. That's its nature. But let's not confuse a generation of 'experts' in full flow. " Full article here »

There's One Born Every Minute

That isn't strictly true. It's two a minute on some days. So I couldn't help thinking that Welsh entrepreneur and conservationist, Ru Hartwell, is likely to be a big hit with his new venture, treeflights.com. For a small fee of £10, conscientious types can now have a tree planted every time they fly (some old cod about offsetting carbon emissions).

A great idea in principal I'm sure you'll agree? Not sure about the timing though. With the government about to unleash an onslaught of green stealth taxes I get the feeling that most sensible people are sick and tired of being told the end of the world is nigh. Particularly when the warnings are based on scientific reports published by organisations reliant on government funding for their very existence.

Anyway, I'm too cynical for my own good. And it is a Sunday after all. And what's a tenner these days? Sod it, I said, I want a tree, I'm having a tree – numbered and tagged so that I can visit the tree whenever I want to. Then I rembered I hadn't actually finished reading the article. Wish I hadn't now.

Sunday Telegraph:- ' On the subject of whether planting a tree really will make up for the carbon emitted by an airline trip, Mr Hartwell, who has worked as a professional tree-planter for, among others, the Forestry Commission, is honest. "I have planted my land with trees and I heat my home with wood rather than fossil fuels. If anyone was carbon-neutral it would be me, but I'm still nowhere near. A tree stores carbon for the duration of its life, but then releases it when it starts to rot. That is why I am thinking of setting up a trust which will harvest the trees in a hundred years, and then dump them at sea .... ".'

Treeflights.com has a payment page which accepts all major credit cards. I couldn't find the page for Last Will & Testaments.

Labour MP on One-man Crusade To Save Post Office

The publication of MPs expenses claims for 2005-06 gives a breakdown of the amounts claimed to support their work in Westminster and their constituencies. Smug Lib Dem MP, Nick Harvey, the spokesman for the Members Estimate Committee refers to the figures as 'detailed'. In fact, they're anything but.

For instance, Labour MP Ann Cryer spent just £79 on 'postage costs', whereas Labour MP Andrew Dismore (pictured) spent a whopping £25,146. On stamps?! We'll never know. Because MPs are refusing to give the public anything more than an overall total for each allowance. The average spend is approximately £pound4000 and I have no doubt that he spent the £25,000 wisely to support his work in Westminster and his constituency. But exactly what on?

Earlier this year the Scottish FoI commissioner forced MSPs to publish a thorough breakdown of expenses claims. This resulted in a huge drop in claims almost overnight and 'exposed abuse by two MSPs that led one to quit and another to resign as Tory leader'. As for Mr Dismore I suppose we'll never know how he spent the 25 grand. Although his website does contain a photograph of him looking very smug on a visit to a Post Office.

UN Spokesperson For Terrorism Speaks Out

Eye on the UN:- " On October 19, UN-appointed "human rights" expert John Dugard told the General Assembly that "Palestinian suicide bombers" are "a consequence of occupation." In five years traveling on the UN payroll - twenty-two percent of which comes from American taxpayers - Dugard has now distinguished himself as the most fanatical spokesperson for terrorism at the UN ..... "

Nat West 3 Won't Be The Last

Quentin Letts, Daily Mail:- " So pitiful was Home Office Minister Joan Ryan at the despatch box yesterday that even Labour backbenchers started to laugh. It was the Police and Justice Bill debate. Of special interest: Our 2003 extradition treaty with the U.S. It has allowed various business figures, including the "NatWest Three", to be packed off to America for trial. ... Possibly the worst performance I have seen from a minister. Ever. "

Watch it here ». Skip forward 78 minutes to 01:18:30 - (archived for 30 days)

MPs Expenses Scam Causing Marital Breakdown

In light of the number of MPs having extra-marital affairs shouldn't the 'Staying Away From Home Allowance' be renamed the 'Playing Away From Home Allowance?'

£21,634 a year and a cooked breakfast. Can't be bad.

UKIP London Mayor to Scrap Gestapo Officers

UKIP's candidate for London Mayor, Talk Sport presenter James Whale, has vowed to scrap the congestion charge if elected. UKIP's great white hope has also pledged to get rid of "appalling parking Gestapo officers" and recruit advisers ranging from Peter Stringfellow to Lord Archer'.

Answers on a postcard to ........

In Europe Not Run By Europe? My Arse

Conservative MEP, Timothy Kirkhope, wins this weeks award for 'brass neckery'. The shameless Tory has laid into his Labour 'opponents' in Brussels for voting in favour of illegal immigrants being given the right to have access to legal aid, the right to join trade unions, and the right to receive maternity leave, paid holidays and access to employment tribunals.

How Kirkhope managed to say any of this with a straight face is beyond me. Because as we now know, Conservative MEPs have just voted in favour of a report from the European Central Bank which contains these telling words:

"Supports the introduction of the Euro by all the member states."

'In Europe not run by Europe'? - my arse. Who are these hypocritical, money-grabbing careerists trying to kid? The level of arrogance, deceit, and moral bankruptcy that emanates from anything connected with the EU knows no bounds. When the voters of the Netherlands and France were given a referendum on whether they supported the idea of an EU Constitution they rejected it outright. Following that decision a 'citizen' asked Europe Direct whether this meant the Constitution project had been abandoned. The answer?

"Before it can enter into force, the Constitution for Europe must be ratified by all the Member States of the European Union. However, the two "no" votes do not mean an end to the ratification process, which is continuing according to plan."

Sometimes I just want to get hold of these people and beat them to a pulp. But the wider question has to be where does it leave us EU realists on the centre-right? Shafted, that's where. Well and truly goosed. But there's always UKIP I hear you say. What, the same UKIP now touting itself as a 'serious' party, only to announce that a complete buffoon, James Whale, is to be their candidate for London Mayor?

Surely, SURELY, if they want to be taken seriously they could do better than a clown like Whale? Or is UKIP just another diversionary tactic designed to diffuse anti-EU sentiment while the lying, cheating, thieving spivs take us ever closer to a Federal Superstate?

Cameron's Monied, Metrosexual Advisers

Amanda Platell, Daily Mail:- "Flamboyant, multi-millionaire Tory MP Gregory Barker epitomises David Cameron's monied, metrosexual advisers. He was given the key post of environment spokesman, having exceeded even Cameron's expectations in his dirty tricks campaign against his leadership rival David Davis. He's the character assassin who "laid down the poison", constantly sniping and painting Davis as a Tory tax-cutting dinosaur. With his decision to leave his wife for a gay man, we now know why disinformation and deceit come easily to him.'-

Al Qaida Announce Terms For Peace Plan

Cameron to Give Bobby Sands Memorial Lecture

BBC:- 'Conservative leader David Cameron said he wants the IRA to become an "old boys association". Mr Cameron, speaking during a visit to Northern Ireland, said he would prefer if "the IRA went away". However, he said it "would be acceptable if they eventually became an old boys organisation".'

I have been unable to confirm rumours that Martin McGuiness and Gerry Kelly have applied for membership of the UK Re-enactment Society.

King Canute Need Not Apply

Former World Bank economist Sir Nicholas Stern spoke to the cabinet yesterday and gave this stark warning: 'Global warming could cost the world's economies up to 20 per cent of their gross domestic product if urgent action is not taken to stop floods, storms and natural catastrophes.'

........ and 100% of their gross domestic product should they be stoned enough to believe that it's possible to stop floods, storms and natural catastrophes.

Republicans to Hold Senate

The seat of New Jersey could prove to be a stumbling block to the Democrats taking control of the US Senate. Democrat incumbent, Bob Menendez, is currently under criminal investigation for allegedly 'steering £170,000 of taxpayers' money into his own pocket'.

The Times:- 'Democrats need a net gain of six seats to retake the Senate in the midterm elections on November 7, and no matter how well the party does in the six other races they need to win. ... a loss in New Jersey would mean that they will fall short. '

Design the Respect Party's New Logo

The Respect Party are inviting budding artists to design their new logo. They are offering a prize to the winner but warn competition entrants:

"Please note: Infantile scribbles bearing a vague resemblance to a tree will not be considered."

Bit harsh. That 'scribble' cost the Tories forty grand.

Leading Neuro Surgeon Gives Hammond All Clear

It's good to hear that popular Top Gear presenter Richard Hammond is on the mend. According to press reports the UK's leading neuro-surgeon, Jeremy Clarkson, has said that Hammond is "completely fixed". Was Clarkson the one that chickened out of driving the rocket on wheels or was it the other gorp?

“Effing Awful” Osborne Speaks For The Nation

Watch it here ». Skip forward nine minutes to 11.00 minutes and watch out for Gordon Brown having a temper tantrum and hurling a document at Osborne. If this man is going to be the next Prime Minister, God help us!


Mr. Osborne: If he cannot accept that, surely the current Secretary of State for Work and Pensions is right: the Chancellor will make an "effing awful" Prime Minister?

Mr. Speaker: Order. Will the hon. Gentleman withdraw that remark? We must have temperate language in this House. I do not care what is said outside.

Mr. Osborne: I of course unreservedly withdraw the quote from the Secretary of State for Work and Pensions.

Lib Dems Slammed For 'Black Economy' Slur

Publicity hungry Lib Dem MP, Bob Russell, kicked up a fuss after a New Labour henchman (the Prime Minister's official spokesman) used the term 'black economy'. The best anti-Lib Dem blog in the business, Fib Dems, has spotted a number of inconsistencies in Bob's line of attack.

MPs Expenses 85 MILLION QUID !!

Lib Dem MP, Nick Harvey, spokesman for the Members Estimate Committee:

"Compared to parliamentarians in other countries this represents excellent value for money."





HOC Allowances Briefing »
HOC Allowances Explanatory Notes/Link to Main Table »

Things Can Only Get Better

You know it's bad when members of Labour's NEC are forced to put their hands in their pockets to bail out the near bankrupt party. So, spare a thought for NEC member, Peter Wheeler, who is raising money for Labour by selling his beloved collection of rugby league programmes. This rare, and some may say unique assortment of programmes, stretches back more than forty years. Highlights of the collection include the memorable 'Challenge Cup Final 1969: Castleford v Salford', and the much sought after 'Wakefield Trinity v Salford, Rugby League Cup first round, second leg 1951'. You wouldn't get much change out of fifty pence for that one.

But the good news for all us footie fans is that Peter also intends selling his collection of football programmes. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity to purchase an assortment of programmes which includes the famous Boxing Day derby game of 1954 between Accrington Stanley and Chorlton-Cum-Hardy. It doesn't get much better than that.

The Prime Minister is expected to attend a full meeting of the NEC in the next few weeks when issues to be discussed will include 'Car Boot Sales For The 21st Century', and 'Pyramid Selling: Healing Crystals and Detergents'.

New Labour Doublespeak

Via the Labour Party website:



'Get A Co-0p Loan And Give Us Fifty Quid'



'Get A Co-0p Credit Card And Give Us a Hundred'



'Die You B*******, Die!'

Greg Who?

The non-story of the day just has to be the one about some obscure Tory MP, Greg Barker, who has left his wife and three children to move in with a male interior designer. Apparently, the shadow environment minister separated from his wife in June and is now living a new life. So what? Big deal. What business is it of ours? I mean, it's not as if he's moved in with Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen. Now that would be a story.

While The Cat's Away

Telegraph:- 'Richmond's (council) decision is part of a wider pattern of ideological fervour that is sweeping across local authorities, trampling on personal rights and demanding complete obedience to a fashionable Left-dominated political agenda. ... A fortune is being squandered on endless tiers of management, on sprawling departments of pen-pushers, while key services such as education, refuse collection and social work are not delivering.'

A Plague On Both Their Houses

I wouldn't put anything past the Democrats, ditto the Republicans. But on the issue of Parkinson's sufferer, Michael J. Fox, and the accusation that he was "either acting or he hadn't taken his medication" when recording a Democrat campaign ad for stem cell research, both sides are at fault. Right-wing shock jock, Rush Limbaugh, for displaying the sensitivity of Josef Mengele, and the Democrats for using Fox in the first place.

The End of the Euro

Anatole Kaletsky, writing in The Times:

' What we see today, not only in Italy and Hungary, but also in the other relatively weak economies on the southern and eastern fringes of the EU, is the beginning of the end of the European project. ... the consequences of the EU's transformation from a union of democratic countries into a sort of supra-national financial empire in which the most important decisions affecting EU citizens are no longer subject to democratic control. '

If They Don’t Know By Now

If they don't know by now they'll never know ....

Lib Dem Takes up Embroidery

Lib Dem MP, Lynne Featherstone, enjoys a spot of knitting in her spare time. Nothing wrong with that. Val Doonican wouldn't have had a career if it wasn't for his jumpers. But it's Lynne's love of embroidery that worries me.

Lynne Featherstone:-" It's so great when you are doing a street stall and you see someone rushing by with both hands full of shopping as one lady did and then - as you mention 'climate change' - they stop! It's the last thing they want to do with hands full and rushing about - but their conscience will not let them pass. "

Now, before you say 'what a load of cobblers!' - here’s the photographic evidence.

Cruddas Supporters Warned About Conduct

Rumours are circulating the blogosphere that Jon Cruddas is less than impressed with one or two Labour bloggers openly supporting him in his quest to be the next Deputy leader of the Labour Party. Reclaim Labour, responsible for some of the most vitriolic attacks on opponents of 'diamond geezer' Cruddas, hasn't blogged since Sunday. My spies inform me that Jon has intervened personally to silence 'Harry Perkins'.

Another supporter, The Daily, believed to be blogging from within Westminster, in what is being seen as a much wider new-media campaign sanctioned by Labour MPs, has gone suspiciously quiet since this attack on Peter Hain: "But if anything is certain it is that Peter Hain’s orange hue will be turning white with fear at the prospect."

You just can't get the staff these days Jon.

Fortunately, Tygerland, a Nottingham blogger and Area Sales Manager for 'It Just Bounces Off', a leading manufacturer of bullet proof vests, knows which side his bread is buttered on: "tygerland.net is close to coming out for Cruddas, but it needs more reassurance."

You and Gordon Brown both.

Update: 3.25pm. The Cruddas campaign may have called off its attack dogs on this side of the continental ice shelf but it looks like it's subcontracted the work to Swedish blogger, Frederik. The Stockholm blogger has picked up on my post from yesterday, Harriet 4 Deputy Leader, and pulls no punches with his reply:

"Uppdatering 2006-10-24: På den engelska Labourbloggen The UK Daily Pundit (inte att förväxla med Cruddasstödjande The Daily) läser jag följande (utdrag):
"It seems the Labour Lads are all supporting Old Labour's favourite wide-boy, Jon Cruddas. Of course, Harriet [Harman] isn't exactly the kind of geezer you could have a drink with at the local lap dancing club after a hard day standing on the football terraces."

He ends his rather unnerving post with this: "Shit, jag tog ställning för grabbgänget igen! Well, well..."

And shit jag tog to you as well Frederik!!

UPDATE 2: Frederik has kindly translated that last bit. It reads, "Shit, I sided with the lad gang again. Well, well..."
You will be pleased to know that cross border relations are intact and trading agreements remain in place.

Beckett on Road to Nowhere

Caravan Kate is calling for a global warming tax of up to £10 per passenger to reduce aircraft emissions. The caravanning Foreign Secretary is warning of "climate chaos" unless action is taken without delay.

Iraq? Blah, blah, blah. North Korea? Zzzzz. Margaret is said to be more concerned with the real issues of the day.

101? There's a Wasp in My Kitchen

"I'd like someone to test my smoke alarm.", "Do you know when the next bus leaves for Southampton? ", and "Can you tell me the times of trains to Brighton? ", are just three of the calls made to the new, non-emergencies Police phone line.

Currently being trialed by Hampshire Police, the Chief Constable has deemed as inappropriate at least two out of every three calls made to the 101 number. Clearly, the Chief Constable has never had to call the National Rail Enquiries phone line.

On hearing of the top cop's call for the £400 million scheme to be delayed from going nationwide until “Ministers have proof of its worth”, one government minister said: “It’s got nothing to do with the Chief Constable. It's our money - not his.”

'Volatile’ Poll Gives Tories Lead

Guardian:- ‘Support for Labour has dropped to its lowest level in almost 20 years with the Conservatives opening up a potentially election-winning 10-point lead, according to a Guardian/ICM poll published today.’

See, what did I tell you? The boy Cameron has got the voters eating out of the palm of his hand. I always knew he could do it .......

UKIP London Mayor - James Whale !!!!

When it comes to politicians, Talk Sport broadcaster James Whale has stars in his eyes. Lembit Opik, Simon Hughes, Peter Hain, and Whaley's old pal from his school days, Derek Conway, he's flirted with them all. So it comes as no surprise that following his interview with Nigel Farage last week, when Nigel jokingly invited the broadcaster to stand as UKIP's candidate for London Mayor, James has had a bulge in his trousers any self respecting seventy year old disc jockey would be proud of.

Farage is probably kicking himself for making the offer, but trooper that he is, and through gritted teeth, he gave this short statement to the UKIP website: "Not only does he (James) have guts, he has an understanding of what people really think".

' An understanding of what people really think '? Not sure I'd agree with that Nige. When pop mogul Jonathon King was jailed for seven years on child sex offences, James Whale must have been the only person in the country who couldn't understand what all the fuss was about. His views on King's sentence - he thought the sentence was unnecessarily harsh - were extraordinary to say the least. After thousands of complaints to the station James realised his mistake and made a half-hearted apology, of sorts, the following evening.

His hatred of fox-hunting is legendary. But it doesn't stop with fox hunting. He's bordering on the fanatical when it comes to fishing. He wants to see it banned. A sport which employs 20,000 people, has 2.5 million participants and generates revenue in excess of £2 billion annually, banned on the grounds of cruelty. And he doesn't like George Bush. Or Israel. So it shouldn't come as any surprise that James played an important role in bringing George Galloway into the Talk Sport fold.

In all honesty, James used to be alright until he had his kidney removed. Ever since then he's been howling at the moon. Typical UKIP I suppose. Mind you, Chad Noble is said to be delighted with the announcement.

John Reid’s Tough Talk Meaningless

Sky News’ Political Editor, Adam Boulton, describes John Reid as being media savvy. An understatement if ever there was one. Two weeks after becoming Home Secretary and after Reid had personally insisted there would be no more spin from his department, this headline appeared in The Mail on Sunday:

Reid's Secret Talks on Plan to 'Castrate' Paedophiles here »

It’s been non-stop ever since. And today he’s at it again with an announcement that limits will be placed on Bulgarians' and Romanians' right to work in the UK.

Tory MP, Ed Vaizey doesn't believe him and Open Europe blows his plans out of the water.

hat-tip Ed Vaizey

BBC Editor Fights Back After Accusations of BBC Bias

Helen Boaden, Director of BBC News, has attempted to downplay reports in a number of newspapers that the BBC is an organisation of trendy, left-leaning, Anti-American Liberals. Using the BBC Editors blog to rebut the claims, Boaden admits to being at the so-called ‘secret’ meeting where issues of bias were discussed. She insists that the meeting wasn’t ‘secret’ at all, was attended by non-BBC employees, and was in fact streamed live on the web. Referring to a “Hypothetical”, where a panel of people was asked how to handle “real-life crises" she says this:

“ There was for example a heated debate about whether or not a Muslim newsreader should be allowed to wear a headscarf. Jon Snow (channel 4) was all in favour. BBC Washington correspondent, Justin Webb, was vehemently against. I had deep reservations because I felt a scarf would be a distraction from the news but pointed out – in the interests of debate – that if we banned the headscarf, how would we justify that cross which I was sure I had once seen Fiona Bruce wearing. From this discussion emerged the wholly untrue newspaper story that the BBC had banned Fiona’s cross.”

Personally, I think the BBC poll tax should be scrapped and the corporation sold to the highest bidder. If the James Naughtie’s of this world or any other BBC leftie wants to play politics, they should have the balls to stand for election.

Harriet 4 Deputy Leader

Just what is it that Labour bloggers have got against Harriet Harman? It seems the Labour Lads are all supporting Old Labour’s favourite wide-boy, Jon Cruddas. Of course, Harriet isn’t exactly the kind of geezer you could have a drink with at the local lap dancing club after a rowdy afternoon on the football terraces. But as Harriet says herself:

“ I am proud of my achievements over the past two decades and am still fighting to push the women's agenda forward. ”

What has Cruddas ever done for women?

Harriet Harman MP: a track record of delivering for women »

Labour macho men bloggers supporting Jon Cruddas include:

The most odious Labour blogger in Britain: Alex Hilton

UPDATE 3.23pm: HILTON IN U-TURN SHOCKER

An anonymous commenter informs me that Britain's most odious Labour blogger, Alex Hilton, has withdrawn his support for Jon 'diamond geezer' Cruddas. Hilton is expected to make a statement to the press shortly.

Defence Propaganda Daily

The press arm of the MOD, Defence News Daily, aka Spin Central, is strangely quiet over the issue of ITV's ban from access to forces in warzones. The website, which of late, has been nothing more than a rebuttal unit makes no mention of the censorship after the Defence Secretary accused ITV of ' inaccurate and intrusive reports about the fate of wounded soldiers '.

James Clark, director of news for the MOD, went further: in an e-mail to ITV editors concerning a recent report he wrote, " As bad a hatchet-job as I've seen in years. Cheap shots all over the place, no context, no reasonable explanation. Like the Daily Star in moving pictures … "

Mr Clark will go far. Those words could have come straight from the mouth of celebrity ex-drunk and spinmeister general, Alistair Campbell.

A Charter For Nosey Parkers

The Guardian has an interesting take on the news that parish councils ‘ will be able to impose fixed-penalty fines of up to £100, and set local laws without seeking the approval of central government. '

“ From skateboarding to dog mess, busking to swinging from bridges, parish councils are to be given sweeping new powers to deliver instant justice. ”

Following yesterdays announcement the Police have reportedly received a flood of complaints, including: Mr Smith accused of obscuring a public highway with a wheelie bin; Mr Clarke accused of mowing his lawn on the Sabbath; Jodie Miller (single mother) accused of not mowing her lawn at all; Mrs Singh accused of parking an inch away from the kerb; Mr Singh accused of slamming his front door at 5.30 in the morning .......

Heard about ***** *****? She isn’t? She is. Well I never. Have you seen the state of her garden? ....

Roll Up, Roll Up, Get Your IRA T-Shirts

I've noticed this T-shirt displayed on a number of Labour blogs over the last couple of days. Apparently, a member of the public was recently removed from Portcullis House by an armed police officer for wearing the offending item. The decision so incensed one parliamentary researcher/assistant/toe-rag that he decided the matter warranted further investigation. Cue Labour blogger and wannabe MP, Alex ‘I’m not a racist' Hilton. Not only did Alex feel it necessary to waste the time of the Serjeant at Arms, he then took it upon himself to waste the time of the increasingly overstretched Metropolitan Police.

But as one commenter on Hilton’s blog says:

“ You can buy the shirt along with other IRA memorabilia on the Sinn Féin website ... Maybe some in the House still remember the murder of Airey Neave when he was blown to bits as he was driving out of the car park. Maybe, just maybe, it as not political correctness gone mad but an attempt to uphold respect ".

Another Labour supporter, Luke Pollard, a seemingly respectable young man with an impeccable career as a senior account manager for Edelman Public Affairs, has also thrown his toys out of the pram following the decision. Luke has previously been an advisor to two former Government Ministers, stood for Labour in the Local Elections in May 2006, and is presently a primary school governor. He also sits on the governing body of a major university. Hilton is just a tosser.

I have been unable to confirm rumours that both men are on hunger strike, bedecked in another popular item in this years Sinn Fein/IRA collection: the Bobby Sands Special.

Take The Nerd Test

NUJ Stop Islamaphobic Spoof

George Galloway has used an EDM to congratulate the National Union of Journalists ‘who called an emergency union meeting to persuade management not to publish a reckless, inflammatory, Islamaphobic spoof page in the Daily Star ..’ According to the Respect Party website the page would have showed what the paper would look like under 'Islamic law'.

‘ Barry Fitzpatrick, the NUJ's national organiser for national newspapers, said his union would not normally seek to influence the editorial stance of a paper but said the content in this instance was "beyond the veil".’ pale!! sorry. "beyond the pale".

1950’s Throwback – Featuring Andy Burnham

An occasional series highlighting present day parliamentarians who look more suited to a bygone age. Today’s specimen is Labour MP, Andy ‘Look Back in Anger’ Burnham.



This particular minister is telling anyone who’ll listen that savings of £2.2 billion could be made in the NHS by cutting waste and reducing inefficiency. Amazing isn’t it? When the Tories say this sort of thing, the BBC call it CUTS. When a Labour MP and stalwart of the Nottingham Playhouse says the same, the BBC call it SAVINGS.

Today Presenter Makes Sensational Admission

'Today' presenter John Humphries has given a sensational interview to the Daily Telegraph, in which, for the first time in public, he candidly admits to ........ having a new book out. Often struggling to hold back tears, an emotional Humphries reveals how chapter 3 nearly ruined his marriage and how an acrimonious meeting with his publisher left him impotent for more than a year.

Under BBC guidelines Humphries received no payment for this interview but did request that a donation be made to the Stop the War Coalition.

Tags: reds under the bed; bbc lefties

Cameron Plummets in Polls

Too much Cameron knocking and I’ll have no readers left. Not that I’ve got many anyway. So I’ll let the headline speak for itself.

Cameron sees sharp drop in approval rating »

Social Workers Call For Reinforcements

Here’s one that got away. One that got buried last Thursday. Or was it Friday? Anyway, controversial retired judge, Lady Elizabeth Butler-Sloss, was, during a career spanning more than thirty years known for one or two dubious decisions. These included:

- overriding the wishes of the parents whose 15-year-old daughter, already a mother, sought an abortion;

- ruling that the child killers of toddler James Bulger should be entitled to lifelong anonymity;

- numerous decisions over custody of children after divorce battles which resulted in her Exeter home being targeted by protesters on several occasions and eventually led to the creation of pressure group Fathers 4 Justice.

So, who better than her Ladyship to head the new Social Workers Commission, ‘ with the aim of ensuring that Britain is equipped with an army of professional child social workers who are fit for purpose.’

Social Workers Commission, eh? It must be another headline grabbing initiative from New Labour, I thought. Until I read a little further. And realised that it’s actually a Tory commission and David Cameron’s latest wheeze.

Is The Right Doing Enough to Counter the BNP?

" We have a nucleus of a Fascist organisation which we are in a very strong position to watch. So long as it does no harm it seems to me a lot better to let it run than drive it into channels where we are not well placed to watch it. "

So says E B Stamp in a minute dated June 15th 1942 and taken from a collection of files of Security Service information recently released by The National Archives. He must have been feeling generous that day because only four months later Mr Stamp was recommending internment for several ex-British Union of Fascists members.

Which brings me to the BNP. Its leader is back in court on the 30th of this month. Their party gleefully acknowledge the publicity received during the last court case propelled it to another level. Membership increased, as did funding, and they won a record number of council seats at the local elections. So, with it all about to happen again I’ve been thinking about banning them. Not me personally – the Home Secretary won’t even answer my letters let alone meet me for lunch - the system I mean, it’s the system that should ban them if they are to be banned at all. But if we ban the BNP who else do we ban? The SWP? The Greens?

Whatever happens, I think it’s fair to say that we’ve ignored the BNP for too long. Searchlight hasn't. Stop the BNP hasn't. Nor has Unite Against Fascism. But is it enough? And what would E B Stamp have to say about it?

Guilty By Association

David Cameron and his team may well think their push for the green vote has been a great success. In many ways it has. Voters associate Cameron’s Tory party with green fanaticism. But I can promise you this; come the next election the party most associated with green fanaticism will pay a heavy price. As has Michael Reeves, ‘a householder who volunteered for a recycling scheme only to be fined £200 and left with a criminal record for putting a scrap of paper in a bin bag meant for bottles and cans.’

Let Europe Federate on its Own

Via The Cabinet Secretaries' Notebooks, The National Archives.

Meeting held on 27 October 1949

Prime Minister:

“ ... but we mustn´t allow ourselves to get too deeply commd (committed) in Europe – economically & politically. For they wd. (would) rely too much on us. And we can´t carry them – as well as our world responsibilities. ”

Ernie Bevin:

" We ourselves shall be drawn rather to an Atlantic Fedn than to a European Fedn. Our main task is to attach Canada to U.K. rather than run after Europe. Let Europe federate on its own. "

Peter Black You Forget to Mention This

Reading Iain Dale’s post about Welsh bloggers, I have to admit that I’m not up to speed with the blogging scene over there. One of the very few Welsh blogs I do visit regularly is that of Lib Dem Welsh Assembly Member and Swansea councillor, Peter Black. Good blog it is too. Entertaining, humorous and gossipy. Just one caveat: Peter doesn’t post any gossip which concerns himself. If he did he would have mentioned a series of recently leaked emails in which he berates Rene Kinzett, a former Lib Dem councillor who defected to the Tories.

via icwales

From: Black, Peter (Councillor)

"Rene, you may have joined the Tories but you are still in the Administration. Would it not be better to act responsibly and tackle this issue through Administration channels rather than use the media to give ammunition to the opposition and feed your own ego?"

From: Kinzett, Rene

"I am not sure if it was the lateness of the hour or whether you had been to the pub before going home to read your emails, but it is only you and Ioan who have replied with such a tone of response... i.e. nasty, impolite and tetchy. No wonder I joined the Conservatives if allegedly senior elected officials from the Lib Dems respond like this... ho, hum..."

From: Black, Peter

"Rene, I do not require your usual condescending tone thank you. You are an expert in being nasty and impolite. I could not begin to match you even if I was in the habit of going to pubs and then writing late night missives, which I am not."

Hat tip Luke Young

Labour Majority Looks Likely

The numbers guy over at Electoral Calculus is predicting an 8 seat Labour majority at the next election.

Fancy Yourself as a Football Commentator?

A company which monitors internet reporting of the Premier League has warned 101greatgoals.blogspot.com not to post any more videos of Premier League goals on YouTube. Copyright specialists, NetResult, has asked 101greatgoals to, ‘immediately cease all such infringements on any and all of your web sites and confirm to us via email that you have done so.’

Judging by some of the comments on the blog the warning is proving to be good publicity:

‘ Hi, I saw this site from a news piece. I don't know if you know but you're one of the top stories on the BBCs website. What great publicity! ’

I saw an article a while back, can’t remember where, about the possibilities of spectators giving live, unofficial commentaries on big games by phone or some other method and delivering the commentary over the internet for a fee. I think we’re about to see a lot more NetResult’s starting up. And even more 101greatgoals.

Common Sense At Last

Just waiting for the inevitable avalanche of ‘not those bloody Muslims again’ posts to appear. It can’t be far off. So the only point I’ll refer to is this:

BBC:- ‘ The email stressed the order did not apply to on-the-spot arrests, only the execution of arrest warrants. ’

Considering the tensions created over the veil issue, I think Greater Manchester Police have done the right thing in asking detectives not to make planned arrests of Muslims at prayer times during Ramadan. After all, it’s the Police who have to work in these communities not us.

Cue Archbishop Cranmer and a persuasive argument as to why the decision is wrong. Mind you, most of Cranmer’s posts are persuasive. If not a little bigoted.

Heather McCartney Has Secret Tapes

Daily Mail:- ‘ Heather: I've got secret tapes of violent rows with Macca ’

Here's an extract:

PAUL: Bitch!

HEATHER: Bastard!

PAUL: Where have you hidden my weed?!!

HEATHER: Where have you hidden my leg?!!

PAUL: Bitch!

HEATHER: Bastard!

Peter Hain Reconnecting With The People

Has Peter Hain had a change of heart since Guido's post 'Snouts in the Trough: Peter Hain Again'? Or is it ever since Peter threw his hat in the ring to be Deputy Leader of the Labour Party that finds him suddenly 'reconnecting' with the people?

From Cradle to Crematorium

Ever visited a crematorium and found yourself feeling light headed and queazy? Me too. Polluters, eh, what are they like? I'm sick to death of them - people who drive, people who fly, and most selfish of all, people who die. They're popping their clogs with a mouth full of Mercury!

Government News Network:- ' Up to 16% of all mercury emitted in the UK comes from crematoria because of the fillings in teeth and this percentage is expected to increase to 25% by 2020 without action.'

Fortunately, Enviroment Minister and pot plant enthusiast, Ben Bradshaw, is on the case. The minister and his becloaked team aim to cut emissions of mercury from crematoria by half by the end of 2012. Thank heavens for that. I'd hate to think there's one aspect of our lives which isn't being controlled.

Iranian President - Israel Will Soon Disappear

World Qat chewing champion, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, has rallied his supporters by saying that “Israel no longer had any reason to exist and would soon disappear”.

The Iranian President also warned those states who supported Israel against the Palestinians, “that the nations are like an ocean that is welling up, and if a storm begins, the dimensions will not stay limited to Palestine, and you may get hurt."

Is it just me or does this man give anyone else nightmares?

Guardian Sees the Light

The Guardian responds to Lord Forsyth's report on tax reform:

" It is true that Mr Brown has asked the tax system to do a lot, and this has contributed to its complexity. "

That’s one way of putting it. Being taxed up the arse is another.

Clare Short - A Woman of Principles

£10 Million For 'National Wildlife Crime Unit'

Barry Gardiner, the minister for biodiversity, has launched the ‘National Wildlife Crime Unit'. Based in Scotland the unit will have a staff of 14 highly trained Police officers with a budget of several million pounds. The minister insisted the unit was not about "saving fluffy bunny rabbits".

Speaking to the Scotsman he said, " This is not some fuzzy-edged idea that is soft and nice. It is about stopping crime and understanding wildlife crime is as serious as any other crime. We are talking about something on a par with drug trafficking and people trafficking, with the same nasty people involved. … It only takes the removal of one species to upset the balance and potentially bring the whole eco-system crashing down.”

Michael Beechwood, spokesman for direct action group ‘Save The Fluffy Bunny Rabbits Campaign’, was unavailable for comment. He is currently awaiting trial on charges of grave robbing, Necrophilia, and smoking in a public place.

100 Voices - Scottish Independence

The Scotsman has brought together the opinions of 100 Scots for and against independence.

Steven Campbell, artist: - "I say get rid of it, start again and begin again with a whole new view point. It would have to be quick. A mini-Russian revolution.”

Magnus Linklater:- "We have scarcely begun to make devolution work, so what on earth gives us the idea that independence is a practical alternative?”

Peter Howson, painter:- “I quite like Alex Salmond, but that's because he said something nice about my paintings.”

Aamer Anwar, solicitor:- “I think with the unaccountability of the British Government, which does not reflect the views of the vast majority of Scottish people, I think people are becoming more inclined towards independence as time moves on.”

James MacMillan, composer:- "The destructive and anachronistic process of seccession would be a generation-long, energy-sapping exercise in petty mean-mindedness, and even more brooding, navel-gazing introspection; and would cripple Scotland."

Joe Beltrami, solicitor-advocate:- “The personnel running the place if it were independent, I do not have much confidence in them. I think it could be disastrous."

John Byrne, playwright:- "The ban on smoking on stage has given me pause. What else can they possibly dream up that's going to curtail our freedom? Morning, noon and night we are treated as infants, with smiley slow down signs and all that kind of stuff, I see it getting worse. Just leave us alone. ... I can not trust this mob or any like them to let us be independent within an independent country and be proud to say we are Scots."

100 Voices »

Shariah Law Solves Prison Overcrowding

Comment spotted on the MPAC UK website:

“ A bit of Shariah Law in this country would certainly solve the overcrowded prison situation. A thief will have his/her hand chopped off for stealing. This means he/she could only steal twice, unless they are good with their feet. ”

Prescott's Cowboy Outfit Reported to US Justice Department

Times Online: - ‘ PHILIP ANSCHUTZ’S gifts and hospitality to John Prescott have been reported to the US Department of Justice (DoJ) under laws banning American businessmen from attempting to bribe foreign officials. George Bathurst, the Windsor-based head of a nursery security company, has reported Mr Anschutz’s hospitality to the DoJ’s Criminal Division Fraud Section. An anti-bribery conviction under the US Foreign Corrupt Practices Act may result in five years’ imprisonment, a $2 million fine, punitive fines and an anti-racketeering inquiry. ’

In related news it appears that a week ago Philip Anschutz sold half a billion dollars worth of shares on the quiet.

Encore:- ‘Qwest Communications International Inc. founder and largest shareholder Philip Anschutz has entered into a contract to sell 80 million shares of the company to Credit Suisse Group, according to regulatory filing. The announcement was made after J.P. Morgan analyst Jonathan Chaplin noted that 66 million shares of Qwest had been sold Tuesday night for about $540 million, and he speculated that the seller was Anschutz. So-called forward sales contracts are often used by executives and other insiders to hedge against stock declines, while giving the seller some chance of profiting from appreciation. ’

Green Lobby Praise Cameron's Tax Plans

Jamie Oliver is Pithed Off

Unemployment? Boring. Rising Crime? Zzzzzz. Drug addiction in the valleys? Blah, blah, blah.

When given the chance to choose a topic for debate in the Welsh Assembly, the Welsh Lib Dems said none of the above. The showboaters instead chose to debate the ‘quality of food’, particularly the quality of burgers being sold from a burger van on a school playground in Caerphilly.

When asked for his reaction, Jamie Oliver is reported to have said, “I’m pithed off.”

What a Waste of Ink

Early Day Motions cost the Taxpayer approximately £250.

Tory MP, Anne Main - EDM 2778: ‘That this House notes the report, ‘Department of Health: Tackling Cancer: improving the patient journey’, of the Committee of Public Accounts published in December 2005 in which it was noted that over three quarters of (terminally ill) patients were not given information by the NHS or others on the financial benefits they were entitled to.’

Labour MP, Rudi Vis - EDM 2760: ‘That this House pays its warmest tribute to Mr Arsene Wenger on his 10 years as the Manager of Arsenal `The Gunners' Football Club;’ considers that he has been a great credit, not only to the long and distinguished history of Arsenal Football Club, but also to the image of football; and hopes that he will long remain as manager of this excellent football club.’

TheyWorkForYou.com makes no mention of any free tickets or hospitality Rudi Vis may or may not have received from Arsenal Football Club. But it does say that Vis has the 607th safest seat out of 643 MPs, with a majority of just 741 votes. Every cloud ....

Come With Me on a Journey – And I’ll Tax You Until The Pips Squeak

So now we know - 'the polluter pays' - it’s the Tories big idea: a rise in car taxes and petrol duty as well as an increased levy on short-haul flights and they might, just might cut your income tax. According to David Cameron it’s the only way to ‘ rebalance the tax system, "shifting the burden of tax from families, aspiration and opportunity to pollution and carbon emissions".'

But which families? The same families who under a Conservative Government would see the burden of tax shifted from one place to another? From here to there? That’s not a shifting it’s a shafting.

Of course, it’s not a shafting when you apply the shifting to Middle England. They can afford to be shafted. As can David. As can the 15 Old Etonians in his Shadow Cabinet. And let’s face it, that’s who he’s talking to. Which is why, once again, David Cameron, nice guy that he is, proves he’s more of a one-trick-pony than a one nation Tory. He may well win the South hands down. But will it be enough? I doubt it.

TUC Recruiting in Poland

Telegraph: ' A delegation of trade unionists is heading to Poland today to encourage economic migrants to join up before coming to Britain. … The TUC is also working with the Polish trade union Solidarnosc to develop online employment rights information aimed at those who are contemplating a move to the UK or who are already employed here. '

Give it five years and the unions will have this country by the balls again.

Better Off Out »

Confused? The Republicans Are

LA Times:- " The fiscal conservatives are furious at the religious conservatives, because they need the moderates for economic policy. But they need the social conservatives to turn out the vote. "

Tomorrows Headlines Today

Paul McCartney’s estranged wife accuses him of domestic violence

The Sun: Macca The Smacker

Liverpool Echo: Macca The Whacker

The Star: Macca The Smacker Lands Heather A Cracker

Blair’s Interview With Scotland Yard - Has He or Hasn't He?

10 Downing Street press briefing, 18 October 2006.

‘Asked by the Daily Mail if there had been any contact from Scotland Yard about cash for peerages, the Prime Minister's Official Spokesman (PMOS) said: no.
Asked by the BBC (who had arrived late) if the Prime Minister had been visited by the police, the PMOS said that surprise, surprise, the Daily Mail had already asked the question, and where the Daily Mail asked, the BBC did tend to follow these days!’

So, is that a yes or a no? Has he been visited? If he has it might explain why he was looking decidely unwell yesterday at his monthly press briefing.

See also: Should he stay or should he go - GuyNews TV »

Artful Dodger In Deputy Leader Race

Former street urchin, Jon Cruddas, has formally announced his intention to stand in the race for Deputy Leader of the Labour Party. Cruddas, known to his parliamentary colleagues as the Artful Dodger, is one of Labour’s most popular wide-boys. Tony Blair once described him as “a proper diamond geezer”. John Prescott noted, “Dodger is the kind of fella’ you want on your side in a rumble”. Phil Woolas went further, “He’s as thick as pig shit but he’ll give those Muslims what for.”

Jon Cruddas was unavailable for comment.

You Got To Pick a Pocket or Two

BBC:- ‘Political parties could get access to "greater levels" of public finance, the man reviewing funding arrangements for the prime minister has suggested. Sir Hayden Phillips warns that " we cannot have a healthy democracy for nothing ".’

Since when was £60,000 a year plus expenses, plus however much you can fiddle, multiplied by 646, nothing? And will there be an assurance that as our pockets are once again picked, outside interests of MPs will be curbed? For instance:

Francis Maude: Remunerated directorships

Benfield Group Limited, from 2 May 2002 (non-executive deputy chairman from March 2003); reinsurance brokerage.
Benfield Limited (non-executive) from 4 November 2004), wholly-owned subsidiary of Benfield Group Ltd.
Prestbury Holdings PLC (chairman) from 1 August 2002; non-investment financial services.
Jubilee Investment Trust PLC (non-executive chairman), from October 2002; an investment trust.
Globalink International Ltd. (non-executive chairman from January 2004); provider of telecommunications services.
Mediasurface (non-executive director from 26 August 2004); a web management software provider.
Hemisphere Property Fund (non-executive chairman from July 2005); international property investment.
The Mission Marketing Group (non-executive chairman from 1 February 2006); an advertising group.
UTEK Corporation Inc (non-executive); a technology transfer company based in the US and listed on the Alternative Investment Market in London.

Diane Abbott: Remunerated employment

2005/6 Arcadia Lectures for School of Oriental and African Studies, London. (Actual £1,200) (Up to £5,000)
October 2005, BBC Celebrity Mastermind. (Actual £2,750) (Up to £5,000) (Registered 31 March 2006)
October 2005, BBC University Challenge. (Up to £5,000) (Registered 31 March 2006)
September 2005-December 2005, weekly, fees for articles in Evening Standard (Actual £5,600) (£5,001-£10,000) (Registered 31 March 2006)
25 November 2005, fee for article in Daily Mail. (Actual £850) (Up to £5,000) (Registered 31 March 2006)
25 January 2006-May 2006, fees for bi-weekly article in The Voice newspaper. (Actual £2,450) (Up to £5,000) (Registered 9 May 2006)
17 March 2006, fee for article in The Times. (Actual £900) (Up to £5,000) (Registered 31 March 2006)
Television programmes, as a presenter for BBC One's weekly programme "This Week" from September 2005-March 2006. (£10,001-£15,000) (Registered 31 March 2006
January 2006-April 2006, weekly, fees for articles in Evening Standard. (Actual £6,400) (£5,001-£10,000) (Registered 9 May 2006)
Television programmes, as a presenter for BBC One's weekly programme "This Week" from April 2006. (Actual £1,600) (Up to £5,000) (Registered 9 May 2006)
May 2006, weekly, fees for articles in Evening Standard. (Actual £2,100) (Up to £5,000) (Registered 1 June 2006)
Television programmes, as a presenter for BBC One's weekly programme "This Week" from May. (Actual £800) (Up to £5,000) (Registered 1 June 2006)
Television programme, appearance on BBC Two's "Have I Got News for You" (Actual £1,000) (Up to £5,000) (Registered 1 June 2006)
May 2006, fee for article in The Times. (Up to £5,000) (Registered 1 June 2006)


See also, State Funding – Just Say No »

Keep The Red Flag Flying

North Korea eat your heart out, the Brits are coming. A government backed report, the Music Manifesto, has been launched by BBC executive, Marc Jaffrey. One of the main recommendations in the report is to help provide "a significant singing element in the cultural programme of the Olympic Games".

Guardian:- ’Music experts advising ministers are calling for a "21st century songbook" to be introduced into schools, to help revive the "collective experience" of singing.’

If it’s anything like your average Labour Party gathering I can see a problem here. While the older kids are linking arms, proudly singing the Red Flag, the younger kids will be holding hands, proudly singing All Things Bright and Beautiful.

Yoko Ono To Edit Today Programme

In other Biased BBC news, the Independent reports that avant garde slapper, Yoko ‘legs akimbo’ Ono, ‘has been invited to be a guest editor of BBC Radio 4's Today programme.’

Can’t wait. Cue screams and white noise. And that’s just the listeners .....

Paul Sykes Goes Head to Head With Labour MEP

Yorkshire Today:- ' Eurosceptic Yorkshire millionaire Paul Sykes has welcomed a challenge to a public debate by his Labour MEP (Richard Corbett) over the UK's role in the European Union. '

Corbett uses his website to lament the quality of eu coverage:

" I have to hope that the media will give me some unbiased coverage. " !!!

He bemoans the fact that Sykes is loaded:

" There is no way pro-Europeans can compete on a par with Sykes’s campaign financially ... " !!!

And in a grovelling footnote he promises to keep in touch with his 5 million constituents:

" As to not hearing from your MEP, if you would like to hear from me four times a year you can sign up to my mailing list for my quarterly report ... "

Jeez, thanks.

Questions For David Blunkett Wanted

Labour blogger and Wannabe MP, Mike Ion, is interviewing David Blunkett in a couple of weeks time. He would like you to email him if you have a question for the bonkers one. The interview will take place in the House of Commons car park and Mike would appreciate it if you keep your questions brief.

Blair Apologises For Spoof Video

Image via the The Spine »

EU Singing & Dancing Contest Scrapped

A Slovene idea for pan-EU street dancing to celebrate 50 years of the EU has been scrapped. Other plans such as an EU marathon and Eurovision-style singing contests throughout the member states have also been shelved. Instead, two citizens per member state will "tell their story" on how the EU affects their daily lives, to be shown on a film or a video blog. Polish student, Szymon Skrzypczak, has won the prize for designing the birthday logo. No idea what the prize was.

I Welcome the Stunningly Successful Figures

Yesterday In Parliament: Unemployment Figures

Mr. David Gauke (South-West Hertfordshire) (Con): What assessment he has made of the latest unemployment figures.

The Minister for Employment and Welfare Reform (Mr. Jim Murphy): There are more people in work than ever.

Mr. Gauke: The Minister will be aware of a report in The Business in August which showed that 5.29 million people were receiving out-of-work benefits. The real unemployment rate stands at 16 per cent.

Mr. Murphy: The hon. Gentleman would do better to reflect on the fact that in his constituency, long-term employment is down by two thirds. It is one thing for the Conservatives, while in government, to have fiddled the figures when unemployment hit 3 million twice and incapacity benefit trebled, but it is quite another for them to fix and fiddle the figures while in opposition.

Keith Vaz (Leicester, East) (Lab): I welcome the stunningly successful figures that the Minister has given us.

BBC Blocking Release of Critical Report

Telegraph:- " The BBC has spent thousands of pounds of licence payers' money trying to block the release of a report which is believed to be highly critical of its Middle East coverage. The corporation is mounting a landmark High Court action to prevent the release of The Balen Report under the Freedom of Information Act, despite the fact that BBC reporters often use the Act to pursue their journalism. "

Human Rights: A Handbook for Public Authorities

We all know what Civil Servants get up to when the boss isn’t around. If you’ve forgotten click here. But with the release of a 65 page booklet, ‘Human rights: human lives - a handbook for public authorities’ and it’s companion 20 page booklet, ‘Making sense of human rights - a short introduction’, I doubt whether Civil Servants will have the time to jump naked from filing cabinets or vomit in cups.

The 65 page pdf »
The 20 page pdf »

PS. the Human Rights Flowchart can be seen on pages 48 & 10 respectively

MOD: Healing Crystals to be Trialed in Basra and Helmand

Sir David King, UK Chief Scientific Advisor:- "In my view, climate change is the most severe problem we are facing today, more serious even than the threat of terrorism."

Ministry of Defence website:- ‘Of course, there are many who might question this statement, but there is no doubt that in the short term a strong link can be made between climate change and terrorism. Al Qaeda, for example, claimed responsibility for Hurricane Katrina citing it as a demonstration of Islamic power.’

Also on the MOD Website:

Healing Crystals to be Trialed in Basra and Helmand Province

Statement from the Army Medical Board:

“As Surgeon General it is my duty to consider any form of treatment which could aid or speed the recovery process of injured and wounded soldiers in my care. I have long been of the opinion that by taking a more holistic approach to battlefield injuries such as shrapnel and bullet wounds the patient could return to light duties within days. The Army Medical Board has therefore agreed to begin a limited trial of Uri Geller’s Healing Crystals from January of next year.”

Coming soon on the MOD Website:

Derek Acorah Visits the Navy’s Most Haunted Ships.
Mystic Meg Discusses the Future Role of the Royal Air Force.

Evening Standard Losing Readers

I don’t live in London and in many ways I’m glad. What it must be like having to wear a stab vest every time you leave the house heaven only knows? But long suffering Labour blogger, Stef Zucconi, does live in London - I get the feeling that sometimes he wished he didn’t - particularly when it comes to the Evening Standard.

An Answer to a Publisher’s Prayers

Bryan Appleyard, Sunday Times:- In POD, (publishing (or printing) on demand) an author delivers his manuscript and the publisher edits, designs and sets it on a computer, but doesn’t actually print any copies at all. Instead, it simply waits until somebody buys one. At that point, the book — a proper one, on paper, with proper binding — can be made on the spot and delivered through, for example, Amazon or direct from the publisher. Alternatively, the buyer can get it from a printing and binding machine rather like the current digital-photo processors. The latter method is the obvious one, and Starbucks is indeed looking at it.

Fascinating stuff. Full article »

African Orphans: The New Celebrity Bling

If I hear one more word about Madonna I’m cancelling my subscription to BritanniaMusic.co.uk. What is it with celebrities? Last year it was miniature dogs, the year before that Maori Tattoos, and now they're buying children from third world countries. So what's the betting it won't be too long before we're reading these headlines:

‘ Posh and Becks to Adopt African Orphan ’
‘ Stephen Fry and his Partner Spotted in Malawi ’
‘ Darren Day Puts His Children up for Sale ’

Pathetic.

Lib Dems Desperate For New Members

Lib Dem Welsh Assembly Member, Peter Black:- " I am at the Welsh Liberal Democrat Conference in Aberystwyth where we have just voted to follow the English Party in imposing a minimum age of 10 for party members who wish to vote in party candidate selections. This is one of those provisions that is largely academic but we do have young members. "

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Live Blogging 18 Doughty Street

8.06: Some old girl who thinks she's on 'That Was The Week That Was' is reading the news. Too posh for my liking. Scores on the board 2/10.
8.09: Tom Mintgomerie, good topic, scrap the EU, that’ll do me. But now him and his mate are doing the accent thing. Are they putting it on or what? 4/10
8.11: THE NICE MAN FROM BETTER OFF OUT. Normal accent. Hair combed. Suit and tie. Like it. Scores on the board 9/10
8.17: Tam Montgimerie asks are we too Eurosceptic? Stupid question. Francis Maude must have told him to ask that one.
8.27: Now he’s asking are we too anti-immigrant. Michael Portillo must have told him to ask that one.

More later ......

8.38: Who's this fella' the Dalemeister's interviewing? Whoever he is he's too posh for my liking. And he's talking bollocks.
8.39: Iain asks what are the crucial moments in this century for the English speaking people. The posh fella is going on about Pearl Harbour! He hasn't even mentioned Ian Rush! Or the Rubik's Cube!

More later ......

8.46: Just heard the posh fella mention the Maginot Line.
8.49: Still no mention of George Formby.
8.52: The posh fella reckons he's married. As if.
8.55: He reckons all MPs are nutters and dodgy characters. He's not too bad after all. Andrew Roberts. Remember his name. The lad will go far.

More later ......

THE BIG FIGHT

9.01: No punches landed yet. The old girl's back. The Dalemeister's rambling. Lib Dem guest speaking. Tosser. Reckons he's happy to pay 31 quid. He doesn't look like he's got 31 quid.
9.07: Hilton is fidgeting. I think he might have an erection.
9.08: Close up of Hilton. Jesus Christ! My gran’s got a better moustache than that!
9.12: No physical contact! What's going on!
9.13: They're just talking!
9.14: The Lib Dem tosser is winding me up no end.
9.18: Lib Dem admits to sitting on fences because he likes the sensation. He should try sitting on the washing machine, my missus' swears by it.
9.20: Liven it up fellas' for God's sake!
9.23: Lib Dem admits to only having A level maths. Thicko.
9.24: Dizzy looks like he wants to give Hilton a smack. Me too.
9.25. Hilton makes comment with homophobic overtones about Iain and a nurses uniform. He has form on this. Hilton, not Iain. No sign of racism from Hilton yet. Give him time.
9.29: It's getting livelier.
9.34: Thicko Hilton doesn't think Ministers should be getting involved in decisions over the veil. So who should? Traffic wardens?
9.35: Lib Dem denies having any dirty habits. As if. You and Simon Hughes, my friend, you and Simon Hughes.
9.37: The old girl's going on. Give us a song love, that's what Millicent Martin used to do.
9.40: Sad man in a sad kitchen. Boy scout in the background. Pile of porn on a side table.
9.45: Most embarrassing question of the night: Dizzy asks Hilton if he's married. Hilton goes bright red. Sussed!
9.48: Hilton has gone quiet. Self consciously takes a sip of water. He’s fidgeting again. Gesticulating. Frowning. Raising his voice. Self conscious laugh. Sussed!
9.50: Lib Dem was in church on Sunday watching his brother getting inducted. That’s the first time I’ve heard it called that.
9.56: Hilton is asked about Labour Home. He starts talking all posh. No hoper. Labour MP? He's got more chance of growing a proper moustache.

Labour Peer Feeling the Pressure

BBC:- ‘ The Labour peer, Lord Nazir Ahmed, has criticised the way the government treats Muslims in the UK. There was "a constant theme of demonisation of the Muslim community" he said.'

It’s been good to see Lord Ahmed out and about making this point on various media outlets. I happen to agree with him. But I was surprised by his response earlier today to this question from Talk Sport presenter, Jon Gaunt:

JG: " The vast majority feel that some muslims are trying to change our very way of life and it’s their leaders that should do more to root out extremism. "

Lord Ahmed:- " Well, obviously we have a difference of opinion and I don’t want to waste my time on this programme ..... "

... at which point his Lordship put the phone down.

Let’s have a heated debate. Not.

Reclaim Labour

There’s a new blog on the block that wants to Reclaim Labour. Here’s a taster:

" What links Radovan Karodicz and John Reid? Well, there’s one obvious link. One of them is a rightwing thug whose government has slaughtered thousands of innocent Muslim civilians. The same can be said about Radovan Karodicz. "

What Have MPs Got to Hide?

Telegraph:- " This arrogant refusal to come clean about expenses gives Westminster MPs the dubious distinction of being some of the most secretive and unaccountable politicians in western democracy. "

Well how about that? MPs refusing to disclose precise details of their expenses claims, who would have thought it? A similar request to the Scottish Parliament earlier this year saw a ‘huge drop’ in claims and the resignation of two MSP’s. So, what has the Westminster mafia got to hide. Whose mistress is being employed as a secretary? Whose rent boy is being employed as an intern? Come to think of it, which of those labour bloggers who work in Parliament are gaining a pecuniary advantage by using House of Commons resources to blog? The truth will out.

Joni Mitchell Would Be Turning in Her Grave

Talking about ‘out’, apparently Lib Dem MP, Simon Hughes, drives around London in a big yellow taxi. Nothing wrong with that. Plenty of room in the back. And didn’t disgraced pop mogul, Jonathon King, use a similar vehicle to cruise around London? Or was that a Rolls Royce? Anyway, Simon’s in good company. Or should that be bad company?

Feel Like Making Love?

Top Labour Blogger in BNP Mystery

Editor of Labour Home and failed Parliamentary candidate, Alex ‘I’m not a racist’ Hilton, has received an interesting item of correspondence from BNP councillor, Richard Mulhall. And before you start, it’s not a sweaty jock strap. And it’s not one of THOSE. Although if the rumours are true, Alex has got a sock drawer full of THOSE.

Depressed? You Will Be

It must be that time of the year but if I hear one more publicity hungry, multi-millionaire celebrity banging on about depression, I’m going to do a Sylvia Plath and stick my head in the oven. Call me stubborn but I’m just not having it. The premise that is, not the funny turn.

Last week it was Alistair Campbell, the week before that it was Stephen Fry and no doubt there’s a publicist out there with the headline already written: ‘David Beckham Suffering From Depression’. So the problem a perennial cynic like myself has, is that when a genuine sufferer like Melvyn Bragg comes along my first instinct is to assume he’s merely jumping on the bandwagon. When in fact it’s quite clear if you read his interview in the Independent that he took a serious emotional knock in his younger days, following the suicide of his first wife, and has suffered ever since. But can you blame me for being cynical?

I’m going for a lie down.

Cameron's Modernising Agenda in Set Back

I haven’t come across any bloggers that are talking about this but if it’s true it shows that the Tories still have some way to go before they’re fit to govern. Not to mention a number of MPs from a bygone age who need throwing overboard.

Mail on Sunday:- " David Cameron's attempt to woo ethnic minorities suffered a blow last night after Conservative MPs were at the centre of two alleged racist incidents in the Commons. "

US Midterm Elections

BetterWorldLinks:- US Midterm Elections 2006

Guardian:- Taking the Political Temperature

US Congress:- Election 2006, Candidates & Information

Off! Off! Off!

Regular readers will know I love a good conspiracy theory - the Loch Ness monster, the mysterious death of Jimmy Hoffa, I just can’t get enough of them. Admittedly this isn’t in the same league but let me share it with you anyway.

Labour blogger, Alex ‘I’m not a racist’ Hilton, is editor of the popular blog, Recess Monkey. Two days ago he wrote his first article for Comment is Free, in which he defended Sion Simon’s spoof video of David Cameron. The following day leading centre-right blogger, Iain Dale, took Hilton’s argument apart in a heated post which attracted many comments and divided opinion. But stop right there. Because Alex ‘I’m not a racist’ Hilton, is due to appear on the popular new internet TV station, 18 Doughty Street, tomorrow evening. And one of the station's main presenters just happens to be ... you guessed it, the very Dalemeister himself. Coincidence or what?

I’m sorry to say that this has all the hallmarks of a traumatic event I witnessed many years ago as a child. Legendary wrestler Mick McManus had Kendo Nagasaki in a headlock. Kendo always wore a mask. Young and old alike were desperate to see him unmasked and on this particular Saturday it looked for all the world as if Mick was going to oblige. Off! Off! Off!, we chanted as Kendo’s chin, mouth and nose were slowly revealed - only for ITV to take a commercial break at that very moment. A moment which could have made broadcasting history.

So I’ll be watching 18 Doughty Street tomorrow evening. But only a knockout will suffice.

Labour Peer Quits

Labour Peer, Lord Wedderburn, has told the Sunday Times why he can no longer support Labour’s policies and “malodorous practices”.

" People are looking at the Lords and are saying, ‘What the hell is going on?’ I was in hospital over the summer and a nurse asked me how I got my title and then she giggled. "

I’ll leave the rest to your imagination ....

How's Your Blood Pressure?

Kicked the cat today? I have. I do most days. What was it today? That’s it - the BA employee suspended for wearing a cross. Is that steam coming out of your ears? Thought so. Abu Hamza buying a £600,000 house? Same here. How’s your blood pressure? Mine’s through the roof. What was it again? That’s it - they’re renaming Christmas to Winterval in case it offends ‘other faiths’. I wonder which other faith that could be?

Millions of ordinary men and women without a racist bone in their body have come to resent the Muslim community. For too long, New Labour’s pandering to the Muslim block vote has resulted in a perception that there is one rule for one community and another for everyone else. Part of me wants to gloat. Labour despise their own country, they despise their own people and only have themselves to blame for the animosity they’ve created.

But their biggest mistake was to take the British people for granted. What were once genuine concerns - dismissed as racism by the likes of Phil Woolas, Trevor Phillips and Ken Livingstone - have now turned to near hysteria. Which is why I agree with India Knight writing in The Times when she says: ‘Muslims are the new Jews’.

So, for all of you who feel the same when you hear yet another Muslim story, my advice is this: keep your hair on, watch your blood pressure, and if you must kick the cat, make sure it's the neighbours cat, not your own.

Arts Council Luvvies Exit Stage Left

The rum buggers at the Arts Council are up in arms. According to the Times ‘six of the seven department heads at the arts quango are to leave in the next month after a restructuring implemented by the chief exec'. Good. I’m glad. I’ve no time at all for this left wing quango. It’s elitist, leftist, and Londonist. The National Theatre? National, my arse. They wouldn’t know the meaning of the word. I’ve often thought that one year we should test the socialist credentials of the tosspots that run the National. Instead of the taxpayer writing a big fat cheque to subsidise whatever elitist tosh they’re putting on this year, we should divert the money to the Great Ormond Street Hospital for Sick Children.

We’d soon see how socialist they are.

Art Thieves Wanted – No Experience Necessary

Keep this to yourself. Me and Smudger are off to Southampton for a few days. There’s an art collection ...... £135 million quids worth of the stuff ..... it aint’ insured. Lib Dem Council. Need I say more? Smudger reckons we’ll get a good drink out of it. Back soon. Mum’s the word.

hat-tip Matt Dean »

My Favourite Sion Simon Qoutes

" If it should all go wrong, then Brown's friends will soon begin to contrast the cleanness of their man's hands with the blood-stained limbs of a Prime Minister they will imply has been unbalanced by power. Brown's silence will quickly come to be construed as having connoted anything but consent. "

" At times of more personal controversy - such as the frequently embarrassing escapades of Mr Charlie Whelan and his eventual sacking by the PM - Brown disappears equally silkily into the sand. "

Sion Simon, Independent, 24 April, 1999

" The Thatcherites were wrong that people only care about themselves. "

Sion Simon, Prospect Magazine, Oct 2006

" Such dissimulation in the face of an embarrassing mistake, though hardly admirable, is nevertheless quite human. "

Sion Simon, Independent

" There is a soft left and a hard left, but not really an old left, whereas there is an old right and a hard right, but no soft right. "

Sion Simon, Prospect Magazine

" Sion was a cheeky little bugger even back then. We still see him now, up the shops, with his mates, smoking weed and buggering about on skateboards .... he's a grown man for God's sake! "

Molly Hopkins, Hopkins Fruit and Veg, Great Barr, Birmingham.

The Blunkett Tapes

Extract from The Blunkett Tapes:

November 1997

' Harriet Harman came with Tony Banks and myself to Bromley-by-Bow Children’s Centre. Due to the fact that the press office had not sorted out what was to happen when I arrived, I was sitting on a very tiny chair with some very tiny children. I slipped my hand on to the shoulder of the ‘little one’ next to me and said: ‘How old are you?’ ‘Twenty-four,’ said the nursery nurse. '

Hunt For Black Sheep Councillor

Havering Council are close to identifying a mystery councillor who kept saying "baa" during a planning meeting when an application was being heard to put a mobile home on a farm housing rare breeds of horses and sheep. The £10,000 year long probe has resulted in a 300 page report identifying four possible suspects.

Telegraph:- ‘ The solemnity of the debate was, apparently, interrupted by a male councillor making unhelpful "baa-ing" noises. ’-

Comedy Duo Announce Nationwide Tour

Balls To You Too

One of Gordon Brown’s closest allies (that’s one way of putting it), Ed Balls, has lost his fight to save his West Yorkshire seat of Normanton. The High Court has thrown out his appeal against the Boundary Commission’s original decision.

It makes me proud to be British.

Extra, Extra, Read All Abaht It!

Labour blogger, Paul Burgin of the Mars Hill blog:

" To the anonymous blogger(s) who leave nasty messages! I think it's about four people who do this, having looked at the tracking system I use, but to the one who kindly left the abusive message at 4:57PM this afternoon ...
Yes I work in a newspaper kiosk, so what! "

Exclusive: Marshall Law Declared In Devon

It’s serious. The Head of the Army has spoken out against his own government while over in Westminster rumours are circulating that Brownite plotters are drafting yet another letter calling for Blair to step down. Even more ominous: Tory MP, Ed Vaizey, hasn’t appeared on television for at least two days. So, what can it all mean?

It’s simple. And I’m going to spell it out in no uncertain terms - Wheelie Bins. That's right - wheelie bins. An Englishman’s home has always been his castle. But when his inalienable right to self expression is curtailed by the imposition of a complex four-bin recycling scheme, then democracy hangs by a thread. I can give you no better example than this:

Daily Mail:-‘ A free telephone number has been set up by a council for residents to report anyone flouting strict rules on rubbish collection. Offenders will then be visited by a "recycling sheriff"' who will inspect their bins as part of the controversial scheme. The council says it has been forced to adopt the strategy to tackle residents who do not adhere to their complex four-bin recycling scheme. ’

Do I really need to point out that this is a Lib Dem controlled council? Didn’t think so. So do me a favour - it is Friday after all - call the hotline. It’s free. And it’ll make you feel so much better.

"Then contact us free on 0800 7310323 and a recycling sheriff will be there to assist."

Don't They Teach Them Anything at Staff College?

"To have one of our senior military figures speaking out on behalf of those under his command is a refreshing change."

So says Liam Fox, Tory Defence Spokesman. I always thought Liam was an empty head and these comments prove it. Irrespective of how ill-equipped and undermanned the forces are, irrespective of how incompetently the MOD has been run for the last nine years under Labour, General Dannatt had no right to take this to the papers. Never heard of leaking, Sir? Don’t they teach you anything at Staff College? Halfwit.

Telegraph: 'General under fire for speaking out'

Daily Mail: 'Army Chief Declares War on Blair'

The Times: 'A man prepared to speak his mind in support of his 10,000 troops'

The Friday Quiz

Daily Mail:- "They told me to take my laces out of my shoes and remove my jewellery, and I had my fingerprints and photograph taken,". She was placed in a bare cell for three-and-a-half hours then released without charge.'-

* Greater Manchester Police denied Codie had been kept in a cell.
* Codie denied referring to the students as "blacks" after the incident.
* School insiders acknowledge that at least three of the students Codie refused to sit with had recently arrived in this country and spoke little English.

Racism or political correctness gone mad? You decide.

BNP and Lib Dems In Power Sharing Deal

Accusations of Nazi salutes in Manchester, deals with the BNP in Yorkshire, and rumours that Charles Kennedy is back on the bottle - what could it all mean for the scavengers of British politics?

Michael Moore Won't Run For President - He'll Waddle

George Clooney is wisely ruling himself out of ever running for US President. Clooney joins a long list of Holywood lefties who believe that their colourful past of sex, drugs and my trailer's bigger than yours, automatically bars them from holding high public office. Celebrity heavyweight Michael Moore doesn’t fancy it either.

Thank goodness for that. Imagine the embarrassment if Air Force One landed in some far away place while the worlds press looked on eagerly anticipating a Presidential wave from the top of the steps, only to see the cargo doors open and President Michael Moore being slowly winched to the ground.

A Deeply Dippy Featherweight

Lib Dem MP, Lynn Featherstone, is fuming after agreeing to an interview/survey with Thames Water in her capacity as a Parliamentarian. Apparently, it’s the done thing for the company carrying out the interview to make a donation to charity. Unfortunately, the deeply dippy dopey MP agreed to the interview without establishing beforehand the actual amount to be donated to her favoured charity, Water Aid. Her reward for “25 minutes of mind-numbing questions”? Ten quid.

Still, it’s nice to know that hard working Lib Dem MPs have the time to arse about with surveys for Thames Water while hospitals are being closed, life-saving drugs are being denied to patients on the grounds of cost, violent crime is spiraling out of control and prisons are bursting at the seams.

Ten quid? She’s lucky she got ten pence.

Labour Bloggers at War

In the red corner I give you Kerron ‘Nestle UK’ Cross! And in the ginger corner I give you Luke ‘the Milky Bar Kid’ Akehurst!

BOX!

Clive Soley Writes For Muslim News

Clive Soley, writing in Muslim News:- "I believe most people in Britain want to avoid stereotyping Muslims as terrorists but I really don’t think it helps either Muslims or non Muslims if you say, as you do in your editorial that terrorism has 'very little to do with religion'. ... The majority of British people are tolerant and anxious not to stereotype Muslims. But this large and supportive section of British society needs help from the Muslim community too."

Chamber Pot For Miss Alibhai Brown!

An excruciating moment tonight on 18 Doughty Street. Presenter, Iain Dale, asked his guest Yasmin Alibhai Brown if she would like to stay on to continue the interview a little longer, to which Yasmin replied: “I need the toilet.” Michael Parkinson doesn't have these problems.

Having said that, the ‘umble’ Yasmin has gone up in my estimation. A revealing interview in more ways than one. Hats off to the Dalemeister and Croydonian for the question about the MBE.

Gay Patriot, The Republicans, and That List

US blogger, Gay Patriot, has been keeping his readers up to date with the Foley intern scandal. One of the best US centre-right bloggers he’s been doing a sterling job of defending his own side, though God only knows why. For their sheer hypocrisy the Republicans deserve everything they get. Which is presently to have the combined forces of gay radicals, stone age right-wing bloggers and the Democrats ranged against them.

Too Fat, Too Thin, Too Thin, Too Fat

Following the previous post concerning skinny models I popped over to Bryan Appleyard's blog only to be confronted by 'Let's Get The Fat Bastards.' How right he is. If you believe everything the BBC tell you then obesity is the new global warming. It not only threatens to wipe out a third of the population but it affects us all - diabetes, heart disease, gastric bands, mental health problems, rotting teeth, low self esteem, body odour ....... anyway, that's enough about the wife. I've told you too much already.

Check out Bryan's blog. Writer, journalist, author, and now blogger, his blog is a must for any self respecting sidebar.

The Master Race Takes Shape

Early Day Motion submitted by Labour MP, Bob Russell:

' That this House calls on the British Fashion Council to follow the example of the Madrid Fashion Week by banning from fashion shows any model with a Body Mass Index (BMI) below 18; notes that UN health experts (2 coke heads, 1 alcoholic) recommend a BMI of between 18.5 and 25 dependent on height and weight; and calls on all involved in the UK fashion industry to promote a healthier weight for all models.'

George Galloway Endorses Cameron

Respect MP George Galloway has endorsed Tory leader, David Cameron. Speaking on Talk Sport this morning, Galloway told presenter Alan Brazil that " David Cameron touches something in the British population. He’s green, young, a family man, and he’s exorcising the ghost of Thatcher. "

With friends like that.......

Labour MP Lectures Ethiopians on Work-Life Balance

Andy Reed, Labour MP for Loughborough, is presently in Ethiopia. It’s impossible to disagree with him when he says:

"Ethiopia remains one of the poorest countries in Africa. There is a long way to go to help build an economy here to give the people the life they deserve."

'Never fear, Andy's here'. He continues:

"When you encounter genuine poverty face to face you can never complain about much in Britain. We lead such comfortable lives. When you face a family that doesn't know where it will sleep or get its next meal from or whether they will all still be alive next week it is hard to understand what we moan about so often."

The man's a hero! We really do lead such comfortable lives .... but not quite comfortable enough for Andy:

"When I get back to London I am hoping to join a campaign to regain some of the quality of life we have lost by rolling back our work culture - especially on a Sunday. We strive so hard to give ourselves a lifestyle which we can only just afford and then don't get chance to enjoy it because we are so stressed."

Couldn't agree more Andy. Cue violins. Cue roast beef and Yorkshire pudding.


Reed has a majority of 1,996 - the 564th safest seat out of 643 MPs.

Education Secretary Embraces the Vulnerable

Alan ‘the quiff’ Johnson has used today’s Daily Mail to announce his big idea for children in care. Choose from the following ....

From the age of 10 children in care will be:

A: encouraged to read more;

B: encouraged to improve their IT skills;

C: forced to take compulsory drug tests.

Answers on a crack pipe to.....

Prisons Minister Recommends Organic Mulch

Is it just me or does anyone else think Prisons Minister, Gerry Sutcliffe, should be on an allotment somewhere growing prize-winning leeks?

Lord Snooty Turns Down Gaunty

The spotty chinned Old Etonians at Conservative Central Office have done themselves no favours this morning with the millions of Talk Sport listeners and the host of its popular phone-in show, Sun columnist John Gaunt. ‘Lord Snooty or Mr Smarty Pants’ if you prefer (David Cameron), is apparently requesting tapes of the show before he agrees to an interview. Gaunty isn’t impressed. But I do wish he’d stop playing that chicken sound-effect.

You just don’t get this level of debate on radio 5 Barely aLive .....

Not Yet They're Not

Danny Finkelstein:- " My favourite comment so far on Jack Straw and the veil? Shahid Malik MP had this to say:

There have been many hundreds of cases where robberies have been committed by men wearing women’s stockings on their heads — but no one is talking about banning stockings. "

Do Bears?

The Devil’s Kitchen, a recent convert to UKIP, comments on the news of the latest infighting amongst the purple ones:

".... have I hitched myself to a bunch of f****** morons?"

Is a fish’s head waterproof?